You should come to my class! Admittedly, I am a closeted apostate much like you, but I still try to teach things well and accurately with modern scholarship. It probably helps that I teach the 16-17 year olds; they’re *way* more into actually learning things a opposed to just listening to boring stuff and reciting by rote “search, ponder, and pray.” My students have expressed many times that they actually *like* Sunday School when I teach because I tend to focus more on teaching the New Testament as opposed to “the Gospel” (which I always find more than a little sad in terms of how useless Sunday “School” is for actually learning anything). For my lesson on the crucifixion we focused on the irony of Mark’s Gospel. When Jesus is struck and mockingly told to “Prophesy!” one of his prophecies is being fulfilled just outside (Peter denying Jesus). While crucifixion was a common execution, it was reserved for the lowest classes: rebels, insurgents, slaves, and anyone else who stepped out of line in the social structures of the Roman Empire. And yet Mark (and, by extension, the other gospels writers who use his gospel as a source) is able to turn this worst of the worst that could happen, both physically and socially, into nothing less than a royal coronation. Jesus is crowned with a crown (of thorns), enrobed with a purple robe, and lifted up under the title “The King of the Jews”. And even when he is mocked by the centurion after he dies (“Truly this man was the Son of God!”) the mockery is meant to be interpreted by the reader as an actual statement of truth. The whole story is told in such a way where every negative becomes a positive. It’s actually quite fun and a great literary device. I even got away with mentioning that the Gospel (supposedly) written by Mark *doesn’t* even have a full resurrection story, but rather ends abruptly in the middle of the story with nothing more than an empty tomb and frightened disciples.

I made sure to mention that there was nothing unique about the death of Jesus: radicals were often crucified throughout the Empire. I also felt it important to remind them that we still live in a world where such horrible things like torture still exist and if they’re bothered by the violence of Jesus’s death, perhaps they can use that emotion to propel them to do even something small to help prevent such things in the world (jokingly referred to as my annual “Amnesty International speech”).

Sorry to effuse so much, but I guess I’m just sad you had a horrible time and wanted to have you share in ours a little.

excuse me while I share my misery with you. I found this adorable agenda online and I was so excited to print it out and as I’m looking through it, I realize its filled with quotes from General Authorities and stuff on strengthening your relationship with Heavenly Father.

http://www.crystalwilkerson.com/2011/02/2011-planner.html

Sitting through the LDS crucifixion lesson was so bizarre for me since I am legally no longer Mormon, and am now Jewish. Not only because of all the talk about “the Jews” doing (or not doing) this and that, but because I felt that– as a recently minted outsider in my home ward, and a known Jew to many people there– I couldn’t say any of the things I was itching to point out.

And, that lesson quotes solely (if I recall correctly) from the Gospel of Matthew, which is probably the least friendly of the Gospels in its treatment of “the Jews”. Grrr.