Today is a momentous day. I WORE PANTS TO SACRAMENT MEETING. I know right now you’re all standing on your chairs and cheering and applauding. No? Do it. Do it now. I need the validation. I had to go to church this Sunday for some family stuff, and I’d been agonizing over what to wear [...]
Browsing Posts in Rules and Conformity
I saw some Christmas-y stuff on Pinterest, which reminded me of the time our theme for girls’ camp was Christmas in July, and the Junior Counselors wouldn’t let my group call ourselves the Ho Ho Hos. (And you know who came up with that name, right?) My main problem with Mormons is that so many [...]
I had a somewhat disconcerting experience the other night. I was talking to a classmate about our university’s draconian parking “service,” and she told me that instead of paying for parking, she writes a note and leaves it on the dash saying that she paid, but the machine didn’t print her permit. And I’m thinking, [...]
I’ve been hitting the Pinterest lately, and most of the people I follow are Mormon because that’s who I know. I haven’t been active for six years and I still don’t have any non-Mormon friends. Don’t be jealous, I’m sure you too can create an awkward/agonizing social situation of your very own. ANYWAY, this is [...]
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what it means to be my real, authentic self. I am admittedly biased, but I feel that I am very real and authentic most of the time, and it quite often gets me in trouble, like when somebody asks when I’m going to settle down and have kids, [...]
I’ve been enjoying my summer vacation, and by that I mean I’ve been listless, restless, and bored out of my goddamn mind. I realize that I’m unlikely to garner any sympathy by talking about how boring it is to have absolutely nothing to do all day, and when I tell you how I’ve been filling [...]
Admittedly, there was a time when I loved stake dances. They were fun when I was a Mia Maid. I had a boyfriend who was not really my boyfriend because we weren’t sixteen. He lived across town, so the only time we got to see each other was at the stake dances. Once a month, [...]
Stake dances mean stake dance rules, the main rule being: NO TOUCHY! Did anybody else’s stakes have dance cards? The stake across town had these little dance cards with a plethora of rules printed on them in teeny, tiny print. (Stuff like “Keep both feet on the ground at all times.” What? How am I [...]
I just realized something today: I am a housewife. Well, technically I’m not a wife. Housegirlfriend. Or something. My job with the school district ended a week ago, and you know what I have been doing since then? Going to yoga class. Going to Zumba class. Baking. Snuggling my cat. It’s pretty awesome, but give me [...]
I was talking to my Sassy Gay Friend today, and told him about my sister’s upcoming wedding. “Is it in the Mormon chapel?” “You mean the temple? Yeah.” “Ooooh!” he said, rubbing his hands together with glee. “Is it weird? Can I come with?” “Um yeah, neither of us are invited,” I said. “WHAT?!” “I [...]
