I had my name removed in 1994 and over 15 years later there are still residual effects, mainly the strained relationship with my father, whose devastated disappointment over all of 3 his children leaving still remains unspoken and yet it is felt every time we interact. For many who leave openly and honestly, there’s just no way to avoid this kind of fall out. While I agree that we never get “over it,” it is possible to move in the direction of healing and wholeness, which has happened for me personally. I will never be “okay” with Mormonism or its unhealthy byproducts of self-righteousness, superiority and inauthenticity and these things will always deeply trouble me, but living a life of freedom from that kind of bondage is my way of reversing that by living into “the unforced rhythms of grace” (Matthew 11:28-30 in The Message). My wife and I are the proud parents of our first child (now just over 3 months old) and knowing that I can and will give him a very different experience that what I had gives me great hope.

2 years, 81 days, and 18 hours out of Mormonism (lol, I’m not insane it was just a specific last straw moment that I decided to look up “stuff” and I happen to remember the date and time).

I am still angry, bitter and frustrated but it’s no where near the magnitude I was then. I applaud those who can move past the anger rapidly. But the continued pain caused from strained relationships will probably take a toll on me for years to come. It is what it is.

Yeah and the older is wiser thing… that is what is it too I guess.